Tuesday, September 28, 2010

off to another town

Went to metro vigan yesterday with my mom. damn it was really exhausted that i couldn't even visit my blog. we went there to file the papers to change my mother's first name. because my mother is going to migrate to US if she got to finish all the requirements in time. well i hope she''ll finish it all. my mom is always saying that she'll give up in this because there's a lot of stuff to be left behind if she would be able to migrate to USA, like us, me and my siblings, her work here ( she's a sanitary engineer in a government office), our house and a lot more. it's really hard for her to just left this all behind, but this is only once in a life time so why waste it.? i always tell mom to just go for it to experience going to another country. if i were my mother i'll be so thankful that i could go to another country, because sometimes it's really lame living in here. so help us GOD!

i'm sleepy! =)

Friday, September 24, 2010

fall trends

Crowning Glories

this so cool.
the use of barrette to your hair, part on one side, sweep forward across the forehead, and clip at the temple,
it really makes the hair look good even if it's laid off.

wanna buy one of this..!

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Damn! i miss him!

i ♥ you!
damn i miss him so badly..
wanna kiss him..
wanna hug him..
wanna be with him..
but i don't know if when will i see him again..
maybe after 5 years. i don't know.. i don't know what will going to happen to us in that 5 years..
damn! life really is unfair some time! maybe this is my KARMA...i hope it's not, because GOD is always there for me..

i took this photo him this morning when we are having a conversation in skype. thanks to technology. we can still communicate to each other.

this are some of our conversation:
him: oi sory j tatay ahh na bwicit nk lng j kunam nga "sure ka????????" sa pylng nagado ????????????????????? ksta na
me: wen sorry met.. sika met ngamin tila adda ibagbagam nga ingka agsarak sabalin kunam..
him: joke dj kt su met babgam knyak idi dta...padas q lng knyam... ;(
me: nabigla nak ngarud sa paylng nakitang nga single ti nakaipan j status mo

him: sory talga ah ivyang q
me: wen rentong.. dmo ngarud ululitenen ah promise!
him:aman ahh...hehe joke
me: ninam met!
him: joke lng kunak ker
pagsawan nk manen
me: sorry.. promise kunam pay ah
him: promise,,,ngm nu aglalaki ka,,ay uray kitam agawid nk dta tagbatek ta sakam!!!
me: haan nga mangyari deta.. PROMISE!

last message from him..
him: sory about last night there, i know u ddnt sleep well cus of the pain [1:00am in philadelphia]

after that, maybe he fall as sleep.. poor thing!
he don't even say i love you.. so said! but atleast we are ok..


so depressed! so upset! so lonely!
i feel alone... i feel nobody cares about me..

my boyfriend give up on me..
goes like this..
we had a great conversation at first,
after that he said awful things about me.
i said bad things about him too..
he take it seriously..
then the worst part comes..
he said, "forget about everything i said to you before i left PH, i'm out of here".
then he log out from skype. i saw his facebook profile. i went directly on the status, god! i was disappointed on what I've seen. it's displays "SINGLE".
tears start to fall in my eyes. all of the sudden i'm drowning and upset.
feels like i lost a half part of my body. i went to bed, and cry my ass out!
i suffered, it was really painful to think that he is gone. then went back to confirm it to him..
thank god he was online again. i ask him to give me a reason why. i said i'm sorry even though it wasn't my fault. he said "i'm dumping you"
then after a few minutes he said " i'm sorry it really hurts me too"
then he went out again.. at this point i really don't know what to do. can't even call him.
i message him to his facebook, i want him back, i want to clear this up. i don't want "us" to be like this. then he said " it's the best way for us, i can't take this, i don't want us to suffer no more". my world crash around me. my heart break into pieces. i beg for the sake of us. i said i can't do this, i can't take it. please! he replied, "if you want to continue we'll continue, if you can still go on with me like this". then he said sorry, then he said that he love me again. i was really relieve to hear it that from him.. it was early in the morning when he said he is sorry and he love me..he did not know i did not sleep well at that night just crying and thinking of what he said...
but even though we are ok. i'm still not convince if we are really ok. it's up to GOD if what he's going to do with us..

even though we are miles away from each other. i still love him the same way as i love him when he was still here close to me..

Renz Kieron Cid: py dm usaren
Ivy Fabian: ananwek kuma pay hanta met unay agchachat
Renz Kieron Cid: yea right... imba
Renz Kieron Cid: cool isnt it
Ivy Fabian: jak amo damagem kanyak ah
Renz Kieron Cid: why shud i ask you if your asking me to ask you? what a dumb question is that
] Ivy Fabian: isut kayat ko ibaga anat mabalin mo!
Renz Kieron Cid: yea right
Ivy Fabian: nag Ol ka d kalman wenu haanen
Renz Kieron Cid: han kam py nka awd d nagtxt ka nga maturog kan
Ivy Fabian: ah eh
] Renz Kieron Cid: ay wen gym apy ksj pic m j FB'm?
Ivy Fabian: apay na man ti problrmam kadjyen? nauyaw ka met ngamin nu mabalin ket delete pay ketdi ta FB kon
Renz Kieron Cid: check out the NOSE!
Renz Kieron Cid: LOL
Renz Kieron Cid: :D
Ivy Fabian: kitam met ta langam ah before ka aguyaw ang ang
Ivy Fabian: ninam!
] Renz Kieron Cid: experience!
Renz Kieron Cid: mka pa lag video call off q lng hangang type ta met lng
[9/22/2010 11:04:28 PM] *** Call ended ***
Ivy Fabian: dugyot ra rupam pangit pay ta ugalim..
Renz Kieron Cid: then find sombody else? is that hard?
Ivy Fabian: you sure!!!!!!!!????
Renz Kieron Cid: tell u what, 4get everything i said b4 leaving PH,.. im out of here!
Ivy Fabian: wait
Ivy Fabian: renz
Ivy Fabian: apay mapikon ka ta inbagak.. apay agpayso kadi?
so single kan ?
[9/22/2010 11:12:07 PM] Renz Kieron Cid: same to you
[9/22/2010 11:12:16 PM] Ivy Fabian: apay kuma
[9/22/2010 11:12:26 PM] Ivy Fabian: in a realtionship nak met
[9/22/2010 11:12:42 PM] Renz Kieron Cid: then good for you and that guy
[9/22/2010 11:12:48 PM] Ivy Fabian: ni renz
[9/22/2010 11:12:54 PM] Renz Kieron Cid: yea right
[9/22/2010 11:13:10 PM] Ivy Fabian: give up ka kanyakon?
[9/22/2010 11:13:20 PM] Renz Kieron Cid: yea im dumping you!
[9/22/2010 11:13:29 PM] Renz Kieron Cid: shud have done it b4
[9/22/2010 11:13:32 PM] Ivy Fabian: In a Relationship with Renz Kieron Cid
[9/22/2010 11:14:07 PM] Ivy Fabian: kannak ti reason why
[9/22/2010 11:14:20 PM] Renz Kieron Cid: sory nsakit met gym
[9/22/2010 11:14:30 PM] Renz Kieron Cid: cka met gamin
[9/22/2010 11:15:46 PM] Renz Kieron Cid: loging out im sleepy

until now, every time i think about what happened last night i still feel the pain.. so much pain! i'm still upset about it...
i just want to start all over again. make a new life. a want it without him. but i don't know if i can do that. i don't know if how to start..

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

goodbye my precious bonni..

Been upset the whole day.! so sad that every time it will come up on my mind
that she's gone... I've been with her for 17 months. it was giving by my only love. when i first saw her, she was so precious, so white and so adorable. i love handling her. having her in my lap all the time. i was really sad to see her laying there without a life. so hurtful to remember those days i saw her on her house. she was so alone, no one to held her to love and care for her. so hard to know that she is so said on that house of steel. cold at night and extremely heat outside.

i dug her own grave. it was a nice sunny day, flashing sunlight on my face, then i remember her..
i went out to see her. so hurted on the scene. i went at the backyard to find the shovel..then i find myself busy digging.
those roots of the coconut tree makes it hard to reach deep. to think that i will put her on this hole is savagely crashing my heart.

the last thing i knew, i was holding her for the last time. putting her on the deep rooty hole on the ground.
and i had to glance at her face for the last time thinking the times that i was playing and holding her... hugging and adoring her!

GOODBYE my dear friend. you are now at the kingdom of our creator.

so crazy for this!

Studded oxford by forever21

i'm so crazy for this damn shoes.. it's either black, cream, combination of withe and black you name it. i'm really in♥ with it!
wanna have one of this!

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Top five looks that i adore this month

the simplicity of the look. the SHOES! so in love with it.

stripes! the stripe jacket.

the red shoes and the floral dress.

the vintage look. the bag, the pants and the top.

the dress and the belt.

Friday, September 17, 2010

Busy Busier Busiest...

It's our Pre-Final examination.. So all of the student in my college where i go were so damn busy. There's the rushing of projects, practicing, and reviewing. In my own shoes, I'm stress and fed up with loads of school works. I don't even have enough sleep because of this. One thing that makes me really tired and ill is knowing that my ♥ is not around to cheer me up. It is really a stressful month for me. So much things to be done.

1. Creating a shit commercial for my course subject multimedia. It's about a commercial that will endorse our school. I don't know if I can make it until the cut off and that is fucking tomorrow already.

2. I'm also obligated to finish our flow chart and DFD for our thesis.

3. I need also to finish my data base of our billing system, but this is for individual work so no help from my group mates.

this is my database that i need to finish for tomorrow!

All of this 3 is to be check and passed tomorrow. Hate it when I'm on a hurry. Can't focus on them.
Worst is exams are on monday already.. Oh my gosh! Review review! i hate review! it's damn killing me.

It my monthly schedule. I just made it an hour ago.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Obsessions (part I)

denim shirt ♥

messenger leather bag (vintage)♥
vintage brown bag ♥

gray cardigan ♥

black cardigan with pockets ♥

this are only the top 5 of my obsessions. there's a lot more and i'm gonna upload again the few of them on my next post.
how i wish i had this stuff. i would be really happy to have this things..
so so crazy for all of it! so so ♥ them!

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Missing you so much..

i've been adjusting myself lately because my one and only... has already in the other side of the earth. he and his brother move to Philadelphia because of the petition of their parents that already there.. i was so upset that i could even go to school for 3 days. I've been crying since the day that we were together (last September 08, 2010). i don't know what would happened to us. i don't know if we can still make it until the day he'll arrive here (Philippines) . but i keep believing that he'll be coming home to me. i hoping that he will not find somebody else there..

anyway is the photo i snap when we had our first video chat together (last september 13, 2010).
in his room.! =D

on their basement.. =]

the third photo is so blurred so i can't upload it.. my cam is not working also so.. so it really sucks cause i just bought it yesterday.. by the way, right now we are video chatting at Skype.. yay! so happy again..

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

it's one of my unluckiest days!

this is our group report at school today.

~~ Peer-to-Peer Communication

Peer-to-peer (P2P) computing or networking is a distributed application architecture that partitions tasks or work loads between peers. Peers are equally privileged, equipotent participants in the application.

Also commonly referred to as P2P, P-to-P and P2P communications, peer-to-peer communication refers to the transmission between two peer computers over a network. P2P became widely known by computer users as they began sharing MP3s and other files over P2P networks. For example, Napster is an example of a P2P software application. After downloading and installing this program users were able to connect with other computers, search for songs, and download any of them freely.

What is a Peer to Peer Connection?
A peer to peer connection is a computer network in which all computers in the network have identical capabilities. There is no server computer, with more capabilities or authorities, than the other computers in the network. In a peer to peer network connection, any computer can initiate the communication process. Any other computer in the network can access resources from any other machine, which that machine wants to share. In other words, all the computers in the network are given both client and server functionalities. With the basic question, what is a peer to peer connection answered, we are now in a position to proceed towards the process of peer to peer connection setup.
s of a Peer to Peer Connection

With a peer to peer connection, there is no chances of the entire network to fail because of the failure of a single system on which the entire network depends; as in the case of client-server setup. In a client-server network, failure of the server means failure of the entire system. Another advantage of a peer to peer connection is that adding more computers to the network would mean increase in the number of resources (memory space, bandwidth etc.). But in case of a client-server network, adding more computers in the system will increase the system load on the server.

Disadvantage of a Peer to Peer Connection
A peer to peer connection is not as secure as a server-client network. Providing a single security blanket on the server could secure the entire network. Besides, in a server-client configuration, it is possible to monitor the workings of other computers in the network.

Peer to peer connection setups are very popular and is the prime reasons for heavy traffic on the Internet. Standard client-server configurations like the SMTP, also use the peer to peer configuration.

TCP/IP model

The TCP/IP model is a description framework for computer network protocols created in the 1970s by DARPA, an agency of the United States Department of Defense. It evolved from ARPANET, which was the world's first wide area network and a predecessor of the Internet. The TCP/IP Model is sometimes called theInternet Model or the DoD Model.

The TCP/IP model and related protocols are maintained by the Internet Engineering Task Force (IETF).

Layers in the TCP/IP model

Application – represents a data to the user plus encoding and dialogue control.

Transport – supports communication between diverse devices across diverse networks.

Internet – determines the best path through the network.

Network Access – controls the hardware devices and media that make up the network.

Detailed encapsulation process
2.3.7 This page describes the process of encapsulation.

All communications on a network originate at a source, and are sent to a destination. The information sent on a network is referred to as data or data packets. If one computer (host A) wants to send data to another computer (host B), the data must first be packaged through a process called encapsulation.

Encapsulation wraps data with the necessary protocol information before network transit. Therefore, as the data packet moves down through the layers of the OSI model, it receives headers, trailers, and other information.

To see how encapsulation occurs, examine the manner in which data travels through the layers as illustrated in Figure . Once the data is sent from the source, it travels through the application layer down through the other layers. The packaging and flow of the data that is exchanged goes through changes as the layers perform their services for end users. As illustrated in Figure , networks must perform the following five conversion steps in order to encapsulate data:

1. Build the data – As a user sends an e-mail message, its alphanumeric characters are converted to data that can travel across the internet work.

2. Package the data for end-to-end transport – The data is packaged for internet work transport. By using segments, the transport function ensures that the message hosts at both ends of the e-mail system can reliably communicate.

3. Add the network IP address to the header – The data is put into a packet or datagram that contains a packet header with source and destination logical addresses. These addresses help network devices send the packets across the network along a chosen path.

4. Add the data link layer header and trailer – Each network device must put the packet into a frame. The frame allows connection to the next directly-connected network device on the link. Each device in the chosen network path requires framing in order for it to connect to the next device.

5. Convert to bits for transmission – The frame must be converted into a pattern of 1s and 0s (bits) for transmission on the medium. A clocking function enables the devices to distinguish these bits as they travel across the medium. The medium on the physical internet work can vary along the path used. For example, the e-mail message can originate on a LAN, cross a campus backbone, and go out a WAN link until it reaches its destination on another remote LAN.

end of the report!!

this is the whole shit of our report in out course CCIT04 ( Networking). this is a rushed one, i only made it these when i woke up this morning. i was like, having an uncombed hair, din't even hit the bathroom to take a pee and worst was, i hadn't brush my teeth yet.. it's really a shitty one cause none of my group mates did not contribute any of our research.. i hate it when i'm always the one doing the group work..!!! (DAMN IT!)

at our class we had so much pressure knowing that our classmates are ahead of a year from us, despite from of being so noisy, they don't even have a consideration. they did not know that i was only the one who prepare this plus it was damn rushed! most of the higher years criticize our report, i was so pissed when one of them volunteer to add some articles relating to our topic. and again i was so angry and pissed to them although his additional report doesn't even related on our topic. He's making a fool of his self!

the thing is that really makes me angry is when we already finish the discussion, we had to give them a quiz, and damn one of my classmates are shouting the damn answers of it.. my patience begun to melt easily upon the situation and i just say it out loud to that particular student ~ "SHUT UP!!" in front of everyone including my stupid teacher.. i make their quiz easy, because i don't want hearing some bullshit from the higher years already!

the bottom line is ~ i was to damn unlucky today!

unlucky moment no.

1. i hadn't talk to my bf until now ( his in the other side of the earth.)

2. i went malling with my friends and spent a lot of money for nonsense things.

3. upon our report in the class of CCIT04, our dean came in and observe us.

4. most of my classmates throw a lot of question that makes our group look stupid especially when one of my group mate did not know the answers.

5. i can't login into my other blog site.

What a day! i hope it'll turned out to be good upon the coming days.. so HELP MO GOD!

Sunday, September 12, 2010

my latest look..

white tank top with diamante from beso♥beso
black blazer from soda by pink
black harem trouser from beso♥beso
black boots

i just love this trousers.. i also love this shoes despite the fact that i'm not use of using high heels.
i sometimes wear this at school minus the shoes and i substitute it my flats to be more comfortable.

Friday, September 10, 2010


I'm so interested in photography.. i took this photo when i was wandering around in our house to have a good subject, and there it was the three little pots. Pots that has a little sprout on each. It was a monochromatic photo but i ended up enhancing a sepia color on half on it. I adore this so much. i can't also believe the photo went to be so great even though i've only use my mobile phone taking this photo.

Anyone can be a photographer, as long as you have a camera, either a mobile phone camera or a digital camera. You only have to apply your artistic and have a good subject.

I'm going to call this photo " the three little pots".