Thursday, September 23, 2010


so depressed! so upset! so lonely!
i feel alone... i feel nobody cares about me..

my boyfriend give up on me..
goes like this..
we had a great conversation at first,
after that he said awful things about me.
i said bad things about him too..
he take it seriously..
then the worst part comes..
he said, "forget about everything i said to you before i left PH, i'm out of here".
then he log out from skype. i saw his facebook profile. i went directly on the status, god! i was disappointed on what I've seen. it's displays "SINGLE".
tears start to fall in my eyes. all of the sudden i'm drowning and upset.
feels like i lost a half part of my body. i went to bed, and cry my ass out!
i suffered, it was really painful to think that he is gone. then went back to confirm it to him..
thank god he was online again. i ask him to give me a reason why. i said i'm sorry even though it wasn't my fault. he said "i'm dumping you"
then after a few minutes he said " i'm sorry it really hurts me too"
then he went out again.. at this point i really don't know what to do. can't even call him.
i message him to his facebook, i want him back, i want to clear this up. i don't want "us" to be like this. then he said " it's the best way for us, i can't take this, i don't want us to suffer no more". my world crash around me. my heart break into pieces. i beg for the sake of us. i said i can't do this, i can't take it. please! he replied, "if you want to continue we'll continue, if you can still go on with me like this". then he said sorry, then he said that he love me again. i was really relieve to hear it that from him.. it was early in the morning when he said he is sorry and he love me..he did not know i did not sleep well at that night just crying and thinking of what he said...
but even though we are ok. i'm still not convince if we are really ok. it's up to GOD if what he's going to do with us..

even though we are miles away from each other. i still love him the same way as i love him when he was still here close to me..

Renz Kieron Cid: py dm usaren
Ivy Fabian: ananwek kuma pay hanta met unay agchachat
Renz Kieron Cid: yea right... imba
Renz Kieron Cid: cool isnt it
Ivy Fabian: jak amo damagem kanyak ah
Renz Kieron Cid: why shud i ask you if your asking me to ask you? what a dumb question is that
] Ivy Fabian: isut kayat ko ibaga anat mabalin mo!
Renz Kieron Cid: yea right
Ivy Fabian: nag Ol ka d kalman wenu haanen
Renz Kieron Cid: han kam py nka awd d nagtxt ka nga maturog kan
Ivy Fabian: ah eh
] Renz Kieron Cid: ay wen gym apy ksj pic m j FB'm?
Ivy Fabian: apay na man ti problrmam kadjyen? nauyaw ka met ngamin nu mabalin ket delete pay ketdi ta FB kon
Renz Kieron Cid: check out the NOSE!
Renz Kieron Cid: LOL
Renz Kieron Cid: :D
Ivy Fabian: kitam met ta langam ah before ka aguyaw ang ang
Ivy Fabian: ninam!
] Renz Kieron Cid: experience!
Renz Kieron Cid: mka pa lag video call off q lng hangang type ta met lng
[9/22/2010 11:04:28 PM] *** Call ended ***
Ivy Fabian: dugyot ra rupam pangit pay ta ugalim..
Renz Kieron Cid: then find sombody else? is that hard?
Ivy Fabian: you sure!!!!!!!!????
Renz Kieron Cid: tell u what, 4get everything i said b4 leaving PH,.. im out of here!
Ivy Fabian: wait
Ivy Fabian: renz
Ivy Fabian: apay mapikon ka ta inbagak.. apay agpayso kadi?
so single kan ?
[9/22/2010 11:12:07 PM] Renz Kieron Cid: same to you
[9/22/2010 11:12:16 PM] Ivy Fabian: apay kuma
[9/22/2010 11:12:26 PM] Ivy Fabian: in a realtionship nak met
[9/22/2010 11:12:42 PM] Renz Kieron Cid: then good for you and that guy
[9/22/2010 11:12:48 PM] Ivy Fabian: ni renz
[9/22/2010 11:12:54 PM] Renz Kieron Cid: yea right
[9/22/2010 11:13:10 PM] Ivy Fabian: give up ka kanyakon?
[9/22/2010 11:13:20 PM] Renz Kieron Cid: yea im dumping you!
[9/22/2010 11:13:29 PM] Renz Kieron Cid: shud have done it b4
[9/22/2010 11:13:32 PM] Ivy Fabian: In a Relationship with Renz Kieron Cid
[9/22/2010 11:14:07 PM] Ivy Fabian: kannak ti reason why
[9/22/2010 11:14:20 PM] Renz Kieron Cid: sory nsakit met gym
[9/22/2010 11:14:30 PM] Renz Kieron Cid: cka met gamin
[9/22/2010 11:15:46 PM] Renz Kieron Cid: loging out im sleepy

until now, every time i think about what happened last night i still feel the pain.. so much pain! i'm still upset about it...
i just want to start all over again. make a new life. a want it without him. but i don't know if i can do that. i don't know if how to start..

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