Tuesday, November 9, 2010

in monochrome world now!

monochrome look! ~ varying tones of only one color or displaying only black and white colors.
like me being single.. ='(

It's really hard for me to accept the fact that we are gone.. that our relationship is gone and it is history.. that he is already gone.. this is life, the saddest part of it is being broken and feel the emptiness and loneliness that resides inside, which i feel right now.. all of the things he says.. the promises he made..it was a fucking lie! they are all lies.. he said a lot of things that made me trust him and believe him but in the end he left me with those fucking lies!! he doesn't want the old me, the happy and cheerful me.. the friendly me.. the ivy with a lot of friends.. so he changes me, he change everything about me.. my looks, my attitude my whole life.. i thought he was right.. that i needed to change everything.. i thought he can stand beside me until the end so i trusted him to let him do want he wants and what he believe that is right for me.. but it was all fuck up! it was all LIES!! LIES!! damn lies!! hope you die!! my mother likes him, my siblings like him then, but he betrayed them and throw away their trust to him.. i hate him now! but the hardest part of it is.. i still love him, hence to the things he had done to me.. FUCK LIFE!! i hate living like this.. this is torture! i want to let go now.. i'm tired of it.. i'm tired understanding and loving him.. i don't believe in love anymore.. maybe i'll just stay single and be happy.. i hope that i can do it! i really hope that i can.. ='(

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